Friday, 12 February 2010

They're only noodles, Michael

Though I've set this blog up with the intention of writing about make-up and beauty in the main, I'm also going to write some other bits and bobs. I like to hold court on a wide range of topics, so where better to indulge myself than here?

Let's kick off then with something that combines my love of 80s film and vampires...

When I was about 13, I went to a birthday party. It was the birthday party of a boy I'd been at junior school with and was now at senior school with (let's call him 'Stephen'). There were a lot of boys I was friends with at school, mainly because I found a lot of the girls a bit rubbish - there was only so much backstabbing and Bros I could deal with.

I had a best friend (let's call her 'Louise'). She was the skinny, blonde one and I wasn't. She liked Kylie Minogue and ankle bracelets, I wore ski-pants and had a crush on WB Yeats. We were less chalk and cheese, more tarmac and trifle, but we were nonetheless inseparable. In hindsight, I think it may have been some sort of co-dependency.

Louise had a thing for Stephen and had already decided to make a move on him at his party. I wasn't looking forward to this as she'd already had her heart broken by one of my other longstanding male friends (let's call him Billy-Bob, 'cos it's funny). This meant that I had been banned from speaking to Billy-Bob, which was a bit difficult as we sat together in double maths and frequently shared a quarter of foam shrimps. I often secretly fancied the same people as Louise, but I didn't want to ruin the great friendships I had with these boys (I was painfully earnest as a teenager).

Anyhoo, despite my trepidation at the possible Louise/Stephen pairing, I was nonetheless very excited about the party. The reasons for my excitement were twofold:

There were to be NO parents in attendance

We were going to be watching this video:

This film had it all - vampires, teen angst, stonewashed denim and the Coreys, Haim and Feldman.

The Coreys, Haim and Feldman (TCH+F) were, to my tender mind, flaming GODS of the silver screen. TCH+F sported sexy, highlighted mullets, had a boyish cheekiness and appeared in some of the most fondly-remembered films of my formative years. Well, Haim maybe not so much. Feldman however had been in Gremlins, The Goonies and Stand By Me. That's a cinematic triumvirate anyone could be proud of, except maybe Steven Seagal.

Anyway, here are some photos of TCH+F in their glory days.They were quite something, I think you'll agree.
So, in anticipation of this momentous event, I arose early on the day of the party to ensure I was prepared. The party was a 5pm start, so at 9am I was in the bathroom washing my hair twice with Linco beer shampoo. I followed this with a malt vinegar rinse, intended to 'close the hair shaft follicles' and ensure dazzling shine. Once I'd applied my deep pore-cleansing mud mask, I dispatched my younger brother (let's call him Adam because, well, that's his name) on his BMX to the Londis at the top of the road to fetch me a can of Impulse and a bar of galaxy (for my nerves).He was back in no time and took great delight in telling me he'd seen Stephen and his mum at Londis, stocking up on cherryade and Hula Hoops for the festivities, and he'd told them I was at home getting ready. Stephen had asked him to remind me that the party didn't start for another 6 hours, but I think his mum empathised with me. We girls know we don't just wake up with deep-cleansed pores and dazzling, vinegary hair after all.I continued preparations, including ironing my outfit. This consisted of high waisted jeans and a yellow airtex t-shirt flecked with green and red mock paint splotches which I'd borrowed from my dad. I have no idea why. This witty ensemble was to be worn with a pair of lace-up brogues. How I didn't have a boyfriend, I'll never know.

I put the clothes on, did my hair in a half up style with my best green scrunchie and applied my Body Shop fruity lip balm. Then Louise arrived with her dad, who drove us to Stephen's house.

The party was a great success, the film was uh-maz-ing and Stephen - who I realised looked a bit like Corey Haim - ignored Louise and spent most of the party tying my shoelaces together so I'd fall over when I went to the toilet. I didn't really get that he was doing that whole boys-flirting-with-girls-by-irritating-them thing until three months later when I snogged him outside the chip shop (just by Londis). I ignored my earnest tendencies and Louise screamed at me for weeks, but then she moved on to someone else and I got over WB Yeats (he'd been dead for 50 years - it was never going to work).

Anyway, this nostalgia fest is partly thanks to my best friend Jane, who gave me The Lost Boys on DVD for my birthday last year. We watched it as soon as I'd unwrapped it, and I entertained her by quoting lines just before TCH+F said them (kudos to her for not punching me in the face). I may not have had my shoelaces tied together, but I did have vodka and a best friend who is bangers to my mash. I wouldn't trade with my 13-year-old self for anything.

Oh, and the post title is the best line from the film, spoken by neither Haim nor Feldman, but by Kiefer Sutherland.

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